17. May 2017
#teampink and #teamblue
Boy, girl, unisex? – When we talk about gender specific clothing or nursery it seems as if we discuss something as sensitive as politics or religion.
I had very good talks about gender topics over the last weeks: about identity, biological gender, sex and personality. Because of course the question of “Is it a boy or a girl?” stayed and since it is clear that we are expecting a girl, two other questions followed: “How do you think about pink?” and “Will she have to wear her hair long too?”
Hi wonderful future mother!
First of all, I want to say congratulations with this beautiful new life and your girl! I love reading your blog about your hair and it is a precious gift to receive life!
When I read your post, I can see that you put thought in your future role as a mother-to-be and I’m sure you will do a great job!
I think it’s great that gender identity is important in your opinion. And your post makes me think, since colors and toys are usually cultural aspects, and both colors or toys have different meanings in different cultures.
However I do really want to state my concern and I’m not trying to attack you in any way. Nowaydays I see many parents who are ok with letting their children free to choose to be the gender they feel to be. Children have a very big imagination and if their parent doesn’t set the boundaries, then they can believe they are superman but also that they are another gender. In the end this only brings confusion. I can’t imagine my parents letting me choose if I would feel like a boy or a girl, there’s already so much to choose from. Honestly I think that it’s much easier, actually when the gender is revealed, that is what the baby is, in this case a girl.
We, humans, are all created in a specific way by the Father in heaven. Just like the birds and dogs and cats. All is created to have their own specific gender and function. If a cat is born as a female cat, then it is a female cat. This is the same for humans.
Life is so much easier this way for everyone and creates a lot less confusion and problems for everyone involved.
I think it’s wonderful that you’re brining a beautiful baby girl into the world with your partner. I hope you will be very blessed as a family and enjoy your time together.
Have a wonderful pregnancy!
Thank you for your thought ins this long comment. 🙂 I guess we have different opinions here. Of course I will teach Merle that she is biologically a girl as her organs are designed like this. There is no doubt. But for identity I will be the one to observe and learn from her. Transgender humans always tell, that they felt, that something was twisted for them. In an open family they can work on this feeling, share their thouhgt and feelings and come out with the insight, that they are of the other gender from the inside than their organs. I have a transgender in my family and it all makes totally sense now that he fund out what confused him for so long.
Maybe I am very good at understanding this specific topic as I am highly empathetic (really maybe one of my biggest strengths) and I can both understand your point of saying “But we are created in a certain way which makes sense so why mix it up?” and also really stepping into another person’s shoes and feeling the confusion of feeling like a man and looking down being a woman.
If it would only be for the “this makes sense” their would not be homosexual people as they naturally can’t have offspring. But obviously there are and they love loving who the love. Their desire is different. And so it is for transgender, their identity needs are different.
So for our baby girl she will be our baby human, biologically female and just treated with the same respect and love as I would treat a boy, a gay or a lesbian or a transgender child. All humans and always my child. I will teach her, that their are different genders. One step at a time. I will teach her what is most likely but i will also tell her, that there are other ways too. Like Most people are brunette or blackhaired. Some are blonde. And few are ginger. All are great. For gender identity it is more difficult as it is something invisible.
Best wishes, Heike