I am in week 12 now, so I talk about week 9, 10 and 11 here – and a bit about week 12 too.
Baby was and is occupied with building organs and the most important differentiations are almost done with the end of the first trimester. Baby really looks like a tiny human already and if I could hold it in my hand I could see everything without maginfier.
My measurements still don’t show much – in the mornings. My belly is very sensitive now, therefore I already wear maternity clothing. I often touch my belly intuitively like as you do when you have a headache and hold your head but also without pain. Bellybutton is inside, no stretchmarks. In fact I look really pregnant in the afternoon and evenings now which is due to my H-bodyshape and my tendency to bloat quickly. I have almost no waist seen from the side also not prgenant. So this all adds up and my belly pops out visibly now.
Estimated: I gained 1cm of hip which usually correlates with 1kg plus. Additionally I have more belly and more blood. So I guess I might have gained 2-3kg, the gyn will check next week. Maybe a bit less because I have lost muscle.
skin and hair
My skin is astonigshingly calm considering all the crap I ate. But… this piece of cake from McCafé, this really was not funny on my chin and jawline. Oh yes really, I was at McDonald’s… My hair gets oily a bit slowlyer so I have to wash it only every other day now. It falls out a bit less than usual what theoretically should be because of slowed down growth rate during pregnancy. Something I can’t observe from other body hair. Not so nice: I had significant loss of lashes for two weeks. My lashline did not turn thinner from that but visibly shorter. I lost 2-3 lashes per day and eye.
other pysical changes
My belly just feels strange. Not really nauseaous (only in the evenings) or painful, just strange. This is always present and decreases my mental and physical strength a lot. Headaches are still bad without painkillers now. Week 10 and week 7 were the most exhausting weeks so far.
Besides that I got my ironlevels and they are all super dooper fine. Because the lab made a mistake in December when we thought my ferritin was low. It wasn’t. But as we thought so I got my injection and am now at the best level I ever had. Not too bad for a pregnancy. I work on maintaining that. This was the second time the lab made a mistake. We even double checked.
My energy comes back. Sloooooowly. I need around 9-10 hours of sleep now compared to 10-12 hours before. My performance still is very low. I do it slowly like a Grandma and this really is no joke. Every Thursday I am totally exhausted from my 3-day-work-week and still I really have no idea how other woman manage to work fulltime while pregnant.
Dreams are as vivid and crazy as usual.
Still I am disgusted of salt and vegetables stay difficult except for cucumbers, tomatoes and green salad. In week 9 I feasted on meat but as for the salt after the craving followed a strong aversion so that I now don’t eat meat at all and also eggs vanished from my diet. Eggs! I usually eat 10 per week. No longer.
What helps me against nauseousness is eating very often small snacks. Best is every hour and longest interval without food should not be longer than 2 hours, otherwise my stomach gets upset. Eating a lot of liquid helps me to not get too full too quickly, so I am in for juices, smoothies and honey (plant)milk.
Oh. Don’t. Ask. I am even back to wheat, also to dairy like butter and cheese and yoghurt. Also convnetional sweets came back, something I am not really proud of but what just happened. Right now I go again back in the health food direction but especiall in week 9 there was just no choice: eating it or feeling sick. I was not rewarded by feeling great after sweets, I just felt less stomach ache.
Top four of the last weeks were flatbread, orangejuice, tunapizza and malt beer.
In total I transitioned quickly from a 90% paleo diet before pregnancy to something which can be best described as pesci-vegetarian or mediterranian. Okay. Küki saves the lives of some cows. Not too bad. 🙂
Something which really was something to learn for me: I always thought pregnat women craved funky combinations and felt just great eating their mustard banana like other people feel when eating chocolate. Like a reward, a flash of happiness. Therefore I thought it was a question of choice and willpower to eat or not to eat crap. Now I know from myself and asking other pregnant women and mothers: no. A pregnancy craving ist when there is only one specific food which you can eat right now, otherwise you might throw up. Eating it makes you feel less nauseous, not rewarded. So you eat to cease the pain, not because you are a chocolover. At least this counts for many pregnant women. Like me.
In week 10 I could not do anything. I walked my dog and made some appointments walking there. Blackrolling because my head ached was the biggest effort I made. I was just too exhausted. Since week 11 I do a 10min mini-workout, low impact bodyweight to activate all muscle groups in the morning and on my days off work I blackroll to prevent more headaches. Really, no more energy. Sunday I walked with my friends through the afternoon sun. 4km. I was done after 2 and fell on the couch when I returned home. I just said it: like Granny. But a nice Granny, I think.
Positiv, stable. I like myself. On days with headache I moarn and nag but really in my eyes this is a an appropriate reaction to this. I am grateful that my mood is constantly nicely high especially as I am really prone to that. I know terrible moodswings from migraine medication years ago and also from when I have to take cortison because of my colitis. So I know how powerful hormones are in context of mood.
Second hand maternity jeans from a friend, a long and a short one. As my belly is so sensitive I also bought a maternity pullover and a long maternity dress which both will look still great without a babybump and they were on sale. I also have such “maternitiy belts” (Bauchband) as they are comfortable. We got a new littel cardigan as a present from Luise and my sister gave us her old stroller. The stroller stood 15 years in her garage and needed a big cleaning, but now it is all finde and we are happy to have this save. Strollers like the one we have now which can be transformed into a buggee later and are high enough for tall parents and large enough for big babys from tall parents are really expensieve. Also we got my sister’s old babybed and we bought a Babybay second hand.
The first time I ate a wheat roll again with butter and tomatoes since… five years? Yes? Snow fell in front of the kitchen window. This was a piece of heaven. Food is so much more than fuel…
One evening Benedict and I sat on the couch and laughed about something. He said: “If baby gets your smile I will just have to cuddle it to death!” and I replied “And if it gets your eyes I will do the same!” Then we shared some tears. And yes in my eyes this is emotionally adequate and stable! We are looking so forward to this child even though we are of course also insecure. But we were happy in this situation. That’s what we are most of the time: happy but still realistic.
One day I had a little bit of blooding, but only a tiny little bit and it was gone just when I noticed it. Anyways. Week 9 and we were already so bond to the idea of having a baby.
One day my colon hurt and I was afraid the diva won’t stay nice facing all the junk I eat, but it vanished. Luckily. And not heart-stopping but still my biggest challenge: headaches. I look so forward to be able to take my painkillers again. Don’t get me wrong, I am in general a holistic person, but this pain is nothing I want to bear and then say proudly that I faced it all alone and survived. I am grateful to live in a time with certain pharmacological achievements.
most important new lessons
Because I have a maternity log now I also now my blood type which is rhesus negative. Our child has the genetical statistic of being 50% rhesus positive or negative. We know that because Benedict (he used to donated blood) is rhesus positive but his parents are positive and negative which leads to a hybrid genotype for him automatically. If Küki is negative everything is fine. If not and I start building antibodies which will be checked I will get an injection of anti-D, which will reduce the risks of a negative mother and a positive baby which are basically a higher risk of miscarriage, thrombose and difficulties with another pregnancy later in life.
We finally have a midwife. And I know now that you best start looking for one right after you get a positive pregnancy test result. Especially as our child will be born in summer and midmifes are humans too who want to have vacations ins this time. I did not now that it could be so diffiult to find a midwife. I searched over a month.
preview and resolutions
The sensitive first trimester is already over which means that the risk of miscarriage decreases drastically. Next week we have our next ultrasound and even though we won’t be able to tell the gender then we will see a real mini human on the monitor no longer a bean in a bubble.
We have them. The boy’s name was safe first and now we also found the girl’s name. Still neither Benedict nor I have a gut instinct about which gender it is. Maybe because it is just interesting but not important to us.
And the papa…?
Benedict was a bit overwhelmed in week 9 because for me the baby was omnipresent (of course as I was 24/7 occupied with feeling slightly nauseous, craving strange food, being exhausted or looking for a midwife), but for him the realization still needed a bit more time as he was occupied with work and his wife was not round yet and basically lay down on the couch tired which just is exactly that: a tired woman on the couch, not automatically a pregnant woman. So I wanted to talk about baby way more than he wanted, but since we have the stroller parking in our living room now it also hit him. “We have a stroller in the livingroom!” “Have you noticed there is a stroller in our livingroom?” “We own a stroller… crazy…”. Now that I am in week 12 and look pregnant right after breakfast and also on the couch under my blanket he really found his new role of a father-to-be. This automatically lead to that fact that he calls me in plural forms now more often.
Still he is the supplier who carries home giant grocery hauls and smiles happily when there are foods among his prey which I liek to eat. He is a great supporter also by becoming my personal massager as this is the only thing to eaase my pain from headaches. He just noticed that obviously at the end of the pregnancy I will have a big belly and he will have big thumbs from kneeding my shoulders.
Two questions were a heavy burden for him (and also for me): Du we want to have a nuchal translucency scan ir not? And: How will we proceed with our parenting time/Elternzeit? Two really big questions so I might eventually go into depth another day, but not today. Too much to mention.
I never EVER would have thought that a pregnancy is so exhausting! Especially not already in the first trimester. Okay, I knew about nauseousness and achy breats and moodswings. But this permanent exhaustion! I did not know of that. I am tired from doing nothing most of the time. Somehow this does not get communicated I have the impression but now when I ask other mothers they all say: “Oh yes, of course! Being tired is really a thing during pregnancy. And no question of willpower. You just fall asleep.”
Pregnancy is no illness – but sorry, it really feels like being sick. Just like, yeah, being sick and stil having to be part of sports lessons and write a maths exam afterwards. By now I am shure that many of the moodswings described are just natural reactions of a totally exhausted woman. I repeat: If I just imagine working fulltime now, I would be lieing in bed, crying every morning, hiding under my blanket. No exaggeration.
See you soon!
So far for the moment. Sometime after the next ultrasound I will give you the next update. To you and also me. Because it is just overwhelming for me too. All the change, all the information in such a short time… I want to fix that here. Theoretically we can see the gender in around 4 weeks.. But there is no ultrasound scheduled in this time. Hm. How curious am I/are we? Because, of course we are but baby’s gender really does not matter to us at all. I whish for Küki to become a friendly, heathly and happy human. Really great expectations so it really does not have to worry about having a Y-chromosome or not. 🙂