Everything is going to be fine in the end. If it’s not fine it’s not the end.
There is so much I wanted to blog about! A 2016 review (which you get today in pictures further downwards), 2017 preview and resolutions and of course I wanted to check my New Year’s Resolutions from last year. There were articles I wanted to share with you, which made me think about mindset and positivity. But basically I am sitting here, in front of my Mac, all smiling and still I can’t really believe what I am about to share with you. Because I just did not expect this to happen. At least not that quickly. What do people say:
Happiness is reality minus expectations.
Just see what happens, we said. This can take ages, we said. Better be surprised earlier than be disappointed later, we said. And now we say: For real?!
So yes, this was planned, and we are super happy, but OMG, we are expecting a child? For real? Now? I mean, of course not now, but we are pregnant now? Now, NOW? Yes, for real.
Sidenote before you continue reading: The links on my blog might not all work yet. The transitioning of my old bilingual articles into a whole blog in German and a mirrored version all in English is by far more complicated than we expected and will still need many hours/days of adjusting. Please bare with me, I work on that. 🙂
“And will you blog about that?”
Obviously I do. This blog here is part of me, my topics, my life. And a child naturally is part of my this. I am looking forward to document the pregnancy here and to share with you. I want to use my blog again for something which is its origin, especially when you look as the word: Blog means web-log, an online diary.
I am no friend of showing kids on social media in a way that somebody can reconstruct their whole life even though this somebody does not work for the NSA or alike. But I love to share photos and emotions. Moments, learnings, wonderful things and things to wonder. So yes, baby Gerkrath which is already titled as “Küki” (short form of Küken, which means baby chicken/baby bird) will be part of haselnussblond. I am looking forward to it. Really. I plan to escalate with babybump photos and I will definitely go crazy as a mom creating foods with faces (talking about smoothiebowls not mortadella of course)!
6-7, let’s say 7. What? And you reveal the pregnancy before week 12? You could still lose the child! And your employer…! Keeeeep calm. : ) My employer already knows and the 12 weeks are a rule of thumb no strict law. Yes, the first trimester is the most sensitive one and there is the all-or-nothing-principle but I expect happily naive that nothing bad will happen. That’s it. I am a very communicative person and want to talk about this change in my life. Of course I understand that other mothers-to-be don’t want to share this early because if you do of course you also have to talk about losing the child IF it happens. But I personally think: Well and IF this happens I am not supposed to talk about that either? I don’t like this underlying taboo of miscarriage which puts a certain pressure on women not to make this a topic to talk about. So. Enough of the ugly stuff. I don’t expect this to happen.
Nope. Nothing. Not at all. But all normal as Küki is just a few millimeters small.
Skin and hair
The sebum is a bit less oily and it looks just as if I might reach a 2-days-washing-cycle again. Yay. My hair feels a bit dryer and needs richer haircare. I drowned it in LOC and now my mane is back to silky again. At the moment I shed a bit more than usual but no real hairloss. This could also depend on dropped ferritin levels, but don’t worry, my iron has already been refilled.
Other physical signs
Yes. I am growing boobs. I take my measurements on a weekly basis when I follow a workout plan so I know that I have already gained 4-5cm around my chest compared to my normal state not on my period. I have a AA cup and usually buy bras so that they look as if they fit, not really fitting (they are always a bit too large). But we will see where the developement will take me.
Minimal bleeding. My gynecologist says everything is all right and my gut instinct says the same. It is only annoying but nothing bad.
Oh yes, a lot please! By now I sleep between 10 und 12 hours a night. Usually I need 8 hours but 12 is really a change. Luckily I am on vacations right now. Until tomorrow…
Not nauseous, no cravings, no increased or decreased appetite. All as usual. Right now I try to fatten me as nauseousness can still arrive later but somehow I don’t think so. Ah, oh well, there was something! In early pregnancy before I even knew it I bought and ate liver three times. I am a confessing meat eater (paleo-based) but this is a lot even for me.
5x a week I do yoga for 30-45 minutes. I stopped the BBG as I already suffered once from a severe headache attack and can’t take any painkillers now (either they are not good for the baby or they are not good for my colitis-colon. Unfortunately there is no intersection). This is why I don’t do anything which could lead to tense muscles (like strong training). It was my first big headache attack I overcame without painkillers for over 20 years. And honestly, I hope it was the last. I now know that the pain will go again without medication, but it is a big difference if I have a headache for 3 hours than medicate and come back to normale or if I have a headache for 12 hours, 3 hours suffering so much that strangers stop by and ask if they should call the ambulance. So I do my yoga and don’t stress. Luckily I am very good into these topics already.
For real? Oh it is so gresat! I mean, really? Amazing! We are expecting baby! Oh my gosh… We are still caught in realization. I am not more sensitive, more aggressive or anything else more than usual. Still me.
Have you bought something already?
No. But I already have a babylist on amazon where I collect friend’s recommendations. I bookmark them. I don’t want our baby to arrive in this world already overwhelmed with clutter. We want to keep the new-ins as low as possible. We did not tidy up, declutter and minimalize with such dedication to let our home be overrun by baby’s stuff.
I am one of the women who are “pregnant but still have their period”. Which is impossible. You can’t be pregnant and have your period. But you can be pregnant and have bleeding. I don’t have the medical term for this in English (Nidationsblutung/Einnistungsblutung), but it is a common effect that women bleed a bit when the future baby settles in the endometrium. I turned a bit sceptical as my “period” did not get any stronger even on day four and even seemed to vanish. I made the test and well, bingo. Here we are. 🙂 The other learning is that you have to take the pregnancy test with morning urine. I wasted one with afternoon urine (it said “not pregnant) so better wait another night. These little gadgets are expensieve! And the thing with the different calculation of the weeks I already layed out above.
Well. This is it. Anyone wants to bet? Which gender, which haircolour, which college degree, Federal Chancelor? 😉
Preview and resolutions
I am where I want to be: concerning fitness, social life, job and family. There is no area which leaves me worried. Well, true, I still can’t perform a single pistolsquat or pull-up, but! But I tansformed the Bikini Body Guide into the Baby Body Guide and now I am pregnant with the best health and fitness I ever had. My books are not yet published but they are on their way. Until Küki arrives I will work on three big tasks:
Top priority is my health. It already is so for long, which means I have only minimal adjustments here, but the distance to the next tasks grew even larger. I am no longer alone in my body, I am a home. Once I read that shpuld treat yourself as if you were your own child: full of appreciation, love and all nurturing, because most of us demand way more from themselves than from others. I liked this idea right from the start and often thought about the little Heiki when the big Heiki tried to save the world in one day again. Often it is enough to get up in the mornings and go to bed in the evenenings, inbetween never lose sight of the light in all the dirt.
Be a good human
And this leads to the second aspect. Personal growth. A friend of mine (she will lecture Jakob Winter, just as a side note! 😀 ) recently told me – we did not meet for a long time – that she has the impression that all my efforts about balance, finding myself, calming down and finding my way, payed off, that I am by far more me than I ever was. And I agree. What I want to work on – for me of course, but in expectation of a baby which will learn more from a leading example than from wise words, for this baby even more – is my attitude, my mindset.
The world is dreadful and the world is beautiful. I became so much more positive over the last years but stayed critical. This is what I want to improve even more. I want to be benevolent, tolerant, kind, positive and helping – in first line for me because who is empty can not give. It is an ability to love I admire on others and which I learn day by day even more.
Well and then there are my books and this blog, because this is the work which really fulfills me, my dreams, my life I want to live. And I want to be a leading example that it is worth following your dreams, even if their fulfillment does not come to you on a silver tray.
This will be my 2017
In brief:I work on being a good human and if anybody might suggest that I already am such a person I want to become even better. Because I believe that this is what really makes a good mother: being a good human in first place, not only to the own child but for the own child too. Like this I have one more big motivation. And you know that motivation really pushes me
A Happy New Year 2017!
The best is yet to come!